7 Quick Ways to Sharpen Your Rapport

February 13th, 2012articles, NLP0 comments

Here are some quick tips to help you sharpen your rapport with a person:
1) Take the effort to understand what interests the person and show a genuine interest for it. A common interest will lay the ground for bonding to occur.

2) Subtly adapt your conversation style to be in sync with the other person by using words or phrases that are often used by him.

3) Some people are detail-oriented while others focus on the big picture when they handle information. By knowing this, you will be able to provide information in the same manner.

4) Breath in unison.

5) Look beyond the words and actions for the intention. Sometimes, they may not convey their intention correctly but if you can understand what they really mean, you are on your way to building good rapport.

6) Adjust your verbal and non-verbal communication to be on the same level with the person. Start from your body language, and tone and speed of speaking.

7) Respect the interests of the person in terms of the people he likes, his personal space and time, hobbies etc.

Ever heard of the saying “It’s not what you say but how you say it.”? A study has shown that people perceive communication mainly by body language and tone of voice. Spoken words only account for 7 percent of the real impact. This means that you can still build a rapport with someone even if you have differing views. The crux is to show respect for varying opinions and explaining your views in a calm and collected manner. Before you want to convince others, you have to be convinced and confident about your own ideas and beliefs.

In short, rapport often comes about when you are able to match and mirror the person’s behavioural style and beliefs. Steer clear of intentional mimicry. People hates to be imitated and made fun of. There’s no faster way to lose rapport and respect than mimicking a person.

Pace Before You Lead

More often than not, people are unwelcoming to new suggestions and ideas not because they truly oppose it. They express disbelief and rejection because they feel that they are not being listened to before being forced to adapt to the new system of thoughts. This is where pacing comes in. That means putting down your opinions first and listen to them. Acknowledge the views of others and understand their concerns. Once you have displayed your recognition of their ideals and beliefs, it is much easier for you to subtly introduce your ideas to them.

How You Can Build Rapport During a Virtual Communication

Technology has granted immense convenience and productivity through tools like email, teleconferences, cloud storage etc. A business operation no longer have to be based in an office where all the employees work under the same roof. You can try the following to maintain rapport with your colleagues in a virtual setting (e.g. teleconferences, Skype meetings) without face-to-face communication:

- Start off with a roll call to acknowledge an individual’s presence. This also allows others to know who’s present for the meeting too.

- Set a clear agenda upfront. Everyone should know the purpose of the meeting so they can contribute in relevant information.

- Do not neglect the quieter individuals. Ask for input from everyone so no one feels left out or unmotivated to participate in the discussion.

- Speak slowly and clearly. This is especially important when people can only rely on audio communication to interpret the message.

How Hypnosis Can help You Overcome Stage Fright?

February 13th, 2012articles, Hypnosis0 comments

Increase Hypnosis Success by Using a Five-Phase Approach

January 31st, 2012articles, Hypnosis0 comments

Increase Success by Using a Five-Phase Approach

By Cal D Banyan

Every hypnotist and hypnotherapist wants to provide consistent high quality service. I would like you to consider a five-phase approach. We have used it to help thousands of clients at our Center and have adopted it as a universal approach to working with our clients.

By using a five-phase system you can help virtually every client:

1. Reach somnambulism,

2. Know that they were hypnotized,

3. Experience true age regression,

4. Remove anger and guilt,

5. Accept suggestions more powerfully,

6. Overcome secondary gain issues.

This approach is called 5-PATH®® which is the acronym for Five-Phase Advanced Transformational Hypnosis.

Here is an overview of the process:

Phase I: Direct Suggestion (DS)

Phase II: Age Regression (AR)

Phase III: Forgiveness of Others (FOO)

Phase IV: Forgiveness of Self (FOS)

Phase V: Parts Mediation Therapy (PMT)

We have found this to be the combination to use for maximum success. This is because the techniques in each phase prepares the therapist and client for success in the next phase. Notice that this process consists of five phases not five sessions. On average the experienced 5-PATH® hypnotherapist will complete each phase in one session, given that each session consist of about 20 minutes (typical of a DS session) to 40 minutes of hypnosis (typical of an AR, FOO, FOS or PMT session). But, sometimes two or even three sessions may be required to complete a phase.

Phase I: Direct Suggestions with Convincers

Phase I: Direct Suggestion (DS) consists of:

1. Preparing your client for hypnosis, including your pre-talk and pre-hypnosis interview (or other intake process)

2. Assessing client’s readiness for the session,

3. The hypnosis session, which should include an effective induction (usually an instant or rapid induction) with a covert test for depth of hypnosis, preferably somnambulism, and a couple of convincers, such as eye catalepsy and time distortion. And, of course hypnotic suggestions are given for the client’s issue.

Structuring your sessions this way allows your client to become the ideal hypnotic subject. The ideal client feels comfortable with you and hypnosis. She is confident that she can be hypnotized because of the convincers. And, she received the suggestions that she came in to receive. When she comes in to see you again the probability that she will go deeply into hypnotic somnambulism is very high, even if she was not able to do so in the first session.

As hypnotherapists we know that the main reason some people will not go into hypnosis deeply, or not at all, is fear. It could be fear of hypnosis, fear of the hypnotist or fear of what they might do in hypnosis. A good pre-talk is designed to remove these fears, but there is one fear that no pre-talk can remove, the fear that the some clients have that they may fail to go into hypnosis. Phase I takes care of all of these issues.

Phase II: Age Regression

Phase II: Age Regression (AR), as a minimum consists of:

1. Re-induction and deepening of hypnosis,

2. Age Regression, usually using the Affect Bridge Technique,

3. The Informed Child Technique, and

4. Direct Suggestion related to success for the issue that brought your client in.

In my view, AR is the Royal High Road of All Therapies! It is certainly one of the most powerful tools available to the hypnotherapist. However, I have talked with many hypnotherapists who have given up on its use because they could not reliably get their clients to experience true age regression (revivification). Good technique and use of Phase I to prepare clients will overcome this problem and greatly increase success in using AR.

With 5-PATH® your client comes in for Phase II, (usually the second session) looking forward to it. She is comfortable and in a positive frame of mind, expecting to do well. This positive mental state is best for achieving the deep hypnosis required for the coming phases of work.

The well-trained hypnotherapists understands that her client may have many false beliefs about how the problem started, or have no conscious awareness of when or how it started. This is why the Affect Bridge Age Regression Technique is the technique of choice when doing AR. You can use the affect or emotion associated with the problem as a “bridge” back to when it started.

AR is an uncovering and insight therapy. It brings knowledge and understanding about the issue into the conscious mind. This insight also does something else which is profound; it causes the subconscious and unconscious levels of the mind to go into a state of reorganization, making your client highly receptive to suggestions that are consistent to the insights just experienced.

This is why insight therapies such as AR, FOO and FOS are so powerful. As children we are highly suggestible; our minds are not yet made up about the world, and it is much like soft clay. But by the time we reach our teenage years our view of the world and ourselves sets into place, the clay hardens, our beliefs and personality become set. Insight therapies open our minds to suggestion for a short period of time increasing our suggestibility. We want to utilize this highly suggestible state by inserting important suggestions at the end of each session. The mind will quickly return to its more solid state. We want it to reorganize around these experiences and suggestions.

For example, a weight loss client experiences an AR session and finds that she was eating to comfort herself, using food to cope with uncomfortable feelings from her past. This insight causes her to look at food differently, and is now readily able to accept suggestions consistent with her experience. The session is completed by giving her suggestions that “From now on food is only fuel and you only eat when you are hungry.” The suggestions given at the end of the session work to develop new beliefs and behaviors based on the insights gained.

Phase III: Forgiveness of Others

Phase III: Forgiveness of Others (FOO) consists of having your client:

1. Hallucinate being with the person who hurt her,

2. Express how she feels about what was done to her,

3. Hallucinate being the person who hurt her and asks for forgiveness,

4. Forgives the person who hurt her, and

5. Then receives suggestions for change.

Looking at the above outline shows why FOO is Phase III. The AR process uncovers who needs to be forgiven. AR also provides both you and your client with a great deal of insight about the events that are associated with the problem (the Initial Sensitizing Even and Subsequent Sensitizing Events, which also aids in the forgiveness process). (See, The Ten Keys To Forgiveness, for more on forgiveness).

In this phase of treatment the therapist works as a mediator/counselor between the two (client and offender) so that the offender can come to a point of asking for forgiveness and helping the client to forgive the offender. This releases feelings of anger and attachment to the old behaviors generated by it (i.e., habits, addictions and anger issues).

Phase IV: Forgiveness of Self

Phase IV: Forgiveness of Self (FOS) consists of a very similar process as was done in the previous phase, but with some important differences. In this process your client:

1. Is divided into two different parts or selves, one called the Self and the other called the Mistake-Making Part, who represents her contribution to the pain in her life,

2. Is encouraged to express her feelings about what the Mistake-Making Part has done,

3. Is then encouraged to speak from the Mistake-Making Parts perspective so that insights can be gained about the cause of such painful behavior,

4. The Mistake-Making Part is better understood and renamed as a result of this new information as the Protective Part,

5. The two Parts are encouraged to forgive each other in the light of their new understanding, and finally,

6. Receives suggestions for reinforcing the new behaviors that will help her reach her goals.

FOS follows FOO because forgiving other people, especially the ones that contributed to your client’s problem creates a better mental environment for your client to truly forgive herself. Some clients will even ask you, after forgiving others (FOO), “What about me? I need to be forgiven too.” Also FOS comes after FOO because it is more difficult to forgive yourself when you are still harboring ill feelings such as anger toward others.

Phase V: Parts Mediation Therapy

Phase V: Parts Mediation Therapy (PMT) is a phase that often goes unused because the previous four phases, when done correctly are so powerful and complete that it is unusual to have to go any further. However there is a special situation where additional work may be needed. This is when Secondary Gain is an issue. The term “Secondary”Gain? describes situations in which a behavior or issue continues because there is something going on in the client’s present environment that either reinforces it or demands it, even though the cause of the problem no longer exists.

Some examples of Secondary Gain are psychogenic pain (where a client may experience pain after the cause has been eliminated) and alcohol or drug addiction (where an individual goes back to using the drug or alcohol because of her desire to continue to associate with her old friends).

PMT is based on a couple of influences such as the Parts Therapies taught by Charles Tebbetts and Gerald Kein as well as the techniques used in conflict resolution where mediators work with parties in conflict to reach win-win agreements.

Basically PMT consist of:

1. The therapist taking on the role of mediator,

2. The client being divided into the parts that are in conflict,

3. The need, wants or desires being fulfilled by the old behavior are uncovered,

4. New solutions are generated and agreed upon that will fulfill those needs, wants and desires,

5. The parts are reintegrated, and

6. Suggestions are given to reinforce the win-win behaviors that were agreed upon.

Since the reasons for continuing in the old behavior are uncovered, this too is an insight therapy, which causes your client to become very suggestible, so direct suggestion is used to end the session.

This has been a very brief discussion of a process that has proved itself time and time again. It is designed to give you an approach that you can use for most if not all of your client’s issues. It is especially effective in dealing with motivation, habits, psychogenic illness, anxiety, compulsions, fears and phobias, relationship issues and more.

5-PATH® is currently being used by hypnotherapists in 22 countries.

5-PATH® was inspired by the work of, Dave Elman, Gerald Kein, Charles Tebbetts and Richard Harte. Dave Elman’s book, Hypnotherapy, encouraged me to utilize instant and rapids inductions so that I can work with our clients in somnambulism and to use hypnotic age regression. Gerald Kein continues to encourage us to do so in his videos, courses and in the book we co-authored together. It was Mr. Kein who introduced me to a system he calls Universal Hypnotherapy, consisting of using age regression and forgiveness together, which is the foundation of 5-PATH®. Dr. Richard Harte convinced me to test clients to establish their level of hypnosis, and then I began to use those tests as “convincers.” (See, Use Hidden Tests and Convincers To Improve Success and Receive More Referrals, in the Hypno-Gram for more on convincers.) Charles Tibbetts work along with my own study of mediation theory contributed to the development of Parts Mediation Therapy.

If you are interested in reading more hypnosis articles, please visit Hypnosis.ORG

I first became interested in hypnosis as a child, when listening to my grandmother tell me stories about her brother, my Uncle Ward who was a hypnotist. That turned out to be the beginning of a lifelong interest in psychology, philosophy and theology, which has resulted in my professional career in hypnosis and hypnotherapy.

Cal Banyan, MA, BCH, CI, FNGH. OOB

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Understanding the 4 Pillars of NLP

January 31st, 2012articles, NLP0 comments

Rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking and behavioural flexibility make up the four pillars of NLP.

Rapport

Have you felt like you know the person forever even though both of you just met? Well, this is rapport. If you have rapport with a person, you can trust and communicate with him instinctively.

A successful relationship with people is all based on rapport. Very often, we are not able to refuse requests in fear of offending people despite having a lot of matters on our hands. A big part of rapport is learning how to say “no” without affecting the relationship we have nurtured with the person. Keep in mind the consequences should you fail to keep to you promise.

Contrary to popular belief, you can build up rapport with a person whom you don’t feel “in sync” initially. You can achieve this through the following:

- Put yourself aside first and make the effort to understand what the person is keen on. Be aware of what matters and appeal to him.

- Get familiar with the person’s way of speaking. Take note of the phrases or vocabulary that appears often when he talk and try to subtly incorporate that into your conversation. Adapt your manner of speaking and body language to correlate with his communication style.

- Look past the actions and speech of the person. Try to understand the intention of the person so you can react accordingly.

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Why Goals, Targets and Objectives Are Seldom Achieved

In your pursuit of success, you would have dream of your goals and aspirations. You might have done affirmations and started a vision board. You might also have written them down clearly in your journal and read them everyday, just like the books teach you to do.

But unless you’ve applied this NLP technique that you are about to learn, I am pretty sure that hitting goals and targets is not a frequent affair for you.

In fact, without this NLP technique, you certainly wouldn’t even feel satisfied with your achieved target. 

Discover how you can achieve your goals, target and objectives with clarity here

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Sensory Awareness

Being aware of your surroundings allow you to spot minor differences that usually seem imperceptible. If you pay more attention to your senses such as noticing the subtle change in the facial expression and tone of voice of people around you, you will be more alert and prepared for the coming events. People who know to take advantage of opportunities are very in tune with their senses and they can strike at the right time to get the desired results.

Outcome Thinking

Have you ever find yourself stuck at an impasse, and no course of action seem to be the right way out? You need to realize that, sometimes, you just have to make do with the best out of the worst. One way of helping you to make the right decision is to think about what you hope to achieve at the end of the day. This is known as outcome thinking. That way, you have a much clearer idea of the steps to take to advance towards this goal.

Behavioural Flexibility

This refers to being flexible with your way of doing things should matters not go smoothly. One can possess immense willpower and perseverance but if they use the wrong approach to handle a situation, he won’t achieve what he want. Being receptive to other suggestions may help you look at the situation in a different light. Adopting new ideas and actions can produce results beyond your imagination. Stay open-minded and you will find that a whole new world may present itself right in front of you.

What is NLP and why is it important?

January 11th, 2012NLP0 comments

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study and usage of persuasive communication to get us to achieve our desired goals and resolve problems. It delves into how our way of thinking and executing affects our performance and results. Let’s break down the term:

Neuro: refers to your thought system. NLP functions on the idea that we perceive reality through our senses and interpret our sensory information both consciously and unconsciously.

Linguistic: refers to how we use language to understand the happenings around us and how we make sense and give meaning to our experiences. In NLP, linguistics is the study of how communication affects our experiences.

Programming: This is how we define and gives meaning to our experiences. Your programming comprises of thought processes and thinking patterns that you adopt to make choices, resolve issues, learn, analyze and derive results.

NLP teaches us how we can redefine our experiences and revamp our internal programming to achieve our desired results.

Quick definitions:

NLP is such a broad field and everyone has a different definition for it. Here are some quick definitions to help you understand what it is about.

- Key to learning:

Students that fail to perform as well on a given subject in school may have some sort of learning difficulties. NLP helps to identify the learning style of the child, be it visual, auditory or kinesthetic (learning through physically experiencing). Teachers can also benefit from NLP by understanding the different learning styles and to incorporate them into their teaching to cater to the needs of various students.

- What annoys or sets you and other people off

- The approach to achieving your goals in the different aspects of life

- Having a positive influence on others

- Helping you to understand your environment and situation

- Invoking change in your personal life and reorganize it.

Origin of NLP

Richard Bandler and John Grinder created NLP in the 1970s. They were enamoured with how some people could achieve excellence in certain aspects of their life. Curious to find the difference between these high fliers and their peers who fared averagely, they set out to chart the differences between the “geniuses” and the average person. They then reproduce or emulate the “ideal behaviour” in others to achieve the same result. This is called modelling.

Who can benefit from NLP and why they need it

Everyone can benefit from NLP to improve on the different areas of their life, be it in their personal, social or work life. NLP is different from other change-invoking methods in the sense that they deal with the “how-to” instead of the “why” for problems. This is a more practical and actionable approach to make a difference in lives.

- Personal Counselling

People with relationship woes or phobias that stop them from having a healthy personal life can go through NLP to identify the root causes and learn how to set thier subconscious and attitude right. For addressing phobias, a typical NLP session would have the person in a self-assumed safe environment and to go through a mental imagery where he is dissociated from the unpleasant memory or subject.

- Personal Development

Personal development relies on strong physical and emotional wellness. NLP techniques can fortify these areas.

- Family Counselling

Conflicts between family members and couples often arise due to poor communication. NLP imparts techniques to people to learn to communicate and get their message across effectively. Just as we often heard the phrase, ” It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”

- Business

Business performance can be enhanced through NLP as employees learn to be aware of their thoughts and how they think. They realize that they can change their mode of thought and bring a new light to the situation. So if they would like to increase their productivity, NLP can coach them how to have the correct mindset and school of thinking.

- Sports 

As sportsmen reach a high level of technical excellence, what remains that sets them apart from their competitors would be their state of mind and willpower. NLP techniques have been widely employed in mental training sessions to fortify their psychological strength.

While NLP can help one to develop their potential, there are still limitations to one’s ability. NLP can’t help us to conquer the world or achieve unrealistic goals. However, it can assist us to maximize our potential and talent to lead a even more fulfilling and enriching life. Through NLP, you learn to set your target and persist till you succeed. By changing the way we think through the use of different words and phrases, we may open ourselves to a whole new level of angles and information we have subconsciously prevented ourselves from thinking about.